My Journey

My Journey

I was born in the late 1950 I was classified as Hermaphrodite or more commonly now Intersex. This takes many forms in my case it was two complete genitalia male and female. This was not acceptable and with little knowledge an arbitrary system was used to determine sex. Within hours I was in an operating theatre with my female parts removed. A t that time it was thought genitals determined gender when in fact brain sex is a major part.

My earliest memory’s around 4 yrs old was of playing with girls dolls and prams, fortunately my sister a year younger than me had lots of these however not long after my mother gave a lecture I am a boy and should be playing with guns etc.

This pushed my desire to be with girls and dolls underground and I was good at hiding it. As I got older I continually knew something was wrong at around 6 years old I was tying string round my male parts and trying to pull them off! as they were alien to me and not who I wanted to be, as I continued to know that I was female however understanding this when your young if difficult. I kept saying I would have to do something about my situation as I was clearly not a boy.

My mother was not very approachable by around 13 she worked out when the house was empty I was trying on her and my sisters clothes and I got a lecture that I was born with extra bits and they were removed and I was a man and be a man. Instead of confirming me as a man for the first time I knew how I felt and who I was and started planning to make major changes. Unfortunately, nature having dealt me a bad deal then played its second having me growing very fast was 6ft 2 By 15 and 6ft 4 by 16 any hope dream or desire to transition was gone. From 16 to 18 was hell trying to work out what I should do including suicide.

Initially I was very quiet with little confidence however I eventually decided I would have to try and live and hope that women would catch up with me to allow me to transition or depending how you look at de-transition given a doctor decided my gender!

I grew in confidence and like a lot of others in my position joined a macho job in my case Fire Service to prove my masculinity. Every day I wished I was living a different life as a woman! I eventually got married had a son, but still wished I was different. As a Fire Officer I would not last days if I tried to transition so had to put this on hold again. As time passed a number of women were now getting taller and nearer my size.

On a cruise holiday after I Retired after a few drinks my wife asked a question, if I was having a long-time affair with another woman. I thought before answering and decided I had to come out with who I really was and told her that not with another woman however that I have always been female and had always wanted to change.

She said I can live with that as opposed to another woman and would support me to change.

A week after getting home we both went to one of my GPs who told me I was very brave however she knew nothing about the subject and would get in touch with colleagues and get back to me she referred me to a Physiatrist which I told her what she could do with that and it should be the Gender Identity Clinic she did that and 8 weeks later was told I was on the list and the wait time was 12 Months.

I was 62 and decided I could not wait for them which was a good choice as the wait became three years and is now about 8 years.

I found a private GP practice in Edinbugh in Scotland and did a self-referral. The owner had set up a transgender service as part of the surgery. I did a self-referral this was the first step of my journey.

I attended a couple of in person meetings and and was referred to phycologist to allow them to jointly make a diagnosis. When they came back to me they suggested I was the most obvious case of Gender Dysphoria they had delt with and was able to endorse my diagnosis and prescribe a private prescription for hormones to officially start making changes and start me on my journey.

I eagerly started and noticed changes very quickly. Having enquired with private Gender Reconstruction surgery consultants I attended Edinburgh again to get a conformation for suitability for surgery. Which again was told no issue. I was fortunate at this time the UK Gender Identity Clinic (NHS) took over control of my hormone provision and offered a number of supporting therapy’s.

I attended consultations with surgeons in London who also agreed that surgery was appropriate in my case and on the 1 October 2020 underwent GRS with Dr Tina Rashid. This is now my new Birthday.

I have been fortunate to have grown nice breasts without surgical intervention. My biggest issue was then my facial features I had very masculine brow and forehead. Like the surgery I did extensive research before progressing. There was very little or no options in the UK and other than going long distance. There was two real options in Europe. Following online consultations, In September 2024. I went with Dr Olebrandt at the 02/2 Pass clinic in Antwerp. This was a very good choice I had FFS my hairline was pulled forward and Lip surgery to shorten the distance from the lip to base of the nose this also created a cupid bow on the top of the lip The results were noticeable very quickly and I am very pleased with the result. The long scar line over the head healed very well and 5 months after my surgery I returned to the clinic to undergo hair transplant surgery this effectively hid the scar line and produced a much better female hairline.

I have never been happier than I now and my journey is now pretty much complete While I am tall I am now passing well. I still have my moments with my female voice however that’s another story.

I have been very happy with my choices of surgeons my treatments and outcomes.

K.